Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News Sub Space Static: Volume 2. Issue 22. Shtp. I can totally count.
Sub Space Static: Volume 2. Issue 22. Shtp. I can totally count.

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

Last call for Christmas related stories. Submit them to the editor immediately.

Submission Is Freedom!

KANG!


*** Trouble And Strife ***

The GCE, whom Kang was tempted to refer to as the ‘beleaguered’ GCE, but Kang is not certain if the RIP have actually had enough of an impact on them yet for that adjective to be appropriate, YES! Kang knows what an adjective is! Anyway, the GCE have come under attack in Halo by the Mercenary vessel Dredge Warrior.

Lazarus Dredge of the RIP has claimed the Dredge Warrior is a copycat vessel, and not one of his, suggesting that more than one party now has a gripe with Garcia Enterprises.

Have there been some dodgy business dealings of late? Or is one of the GCE’s competitors simply taking direct measures to eliminate the competition? Or has Lazarus Dredge simply been caught out naming vessels after himself?

Kang knows not.



*** Cheap Slave Labour ***

The GCE Starbase of Half-Life in Ruin is selling civilians for a cut-rate price.

Kang ponders innocently just how exactly this form of slave trading is legal in so-called ‘civilised’ space, while Kang’s form of slavery is all brutal and oppressive.

Puny double-standard holding meatsacks. Kang has but ONE STANDARD!

AND IT IS SUPERIOR!



*** Inferior Human Meatsack Empire News ***

From the office of the IMP Viceroy..............

The Un-Easy Peace..........

relations with various alien affiliations have been normalised after the blistering pace of war in the last few months.

Allied reports post battles show a victory, praising the True one himself that the aliens hadn't merged the potential capacity and we managed to inflict losses far beyond what we had hoped.

Alien forces, although they keep informing everyone "we are the underdogs" would have matched us, or more than matched us, if it wasn't for the actions of all allies over the last few months.

The FEL, the USN navy been taken from the potential battles, all small battles taken into account, enemy losses are numbering well over 500 warships with some observers placing this at over 550, allied losses are estimated at 260.

Ground forces In Solo

The ground situation has stabilised in Solo, post action reports are coming in and placing trained troop losses of the DEN at least 150000, more than that is likely, but numbers being kept conservative.

Allied soldiers losses were in the region of 65000.

Astra Update

The surprise arrival a few weeks ago of a HEX platform in the orbit of a Forward operating base in Astra who immediately started to bombard the facility and cause damage for several weeks whilst we were busy in Solo. The platform at 1510 hulls, with armour and just under 6000 marines kept the pressure on for that duration.

However last week that pressure was relieved as IMP supplies arrived on site and wiped the platform out killing all on board.

A 75 hulled cruiser of the IMP was destroyed in the battle

Star Admiral Sir Joseph Cherenkov KSG


Sir Joseph Cherenkov has been reported killed fighting against the alien forces in Solo, he has been a loyal Imperial officer for many years, and seen lots of battles.

He has also seen a lot of prison cells, having only been released in the last year from Detinus facilities.

Reports are suggesting he died doing his job, which is what he would have wanted.


*** Freighters Attacked ***

There are reports that the RIP have attacked a small number of FRE flagged freighters in some sordid backwater Kang has never heard of before called Trexonal.

Trexonal. That sounds like a treatment for tentacle-rot.

However, in a display of good old fashioned piracy, the RIP have captured a cargo, and shot up a freighter. Kang does at least applaud the puny RIP for returning to their old ways.


*** We Love This Ship So Much ***

Reports are surfacing of the crew of a Flagritz vessel who love their ship so much they are refusing all efforts to have them ejected.

And you puny meatsacks try and claim that the inferior slaves of the Flagritz don’t like working for us.

Why just yesterday Kang gave all of his happy employees here at SSS HQ the option to go on annual holidays. And only three wanted to leave.

They didn’t run fast enough.