Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News Sub Space Static: Volume 2. Issue 20.
Sub Space Static: Volume 2. Issue 20.

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***


Kang is pleased to report for once that Kang was wrong when describing a ceasefire between the Human Empire and the Alien Alliance, it would seem the idea was briefly mooted, and then discarded for the pathetic snivelling surrender monkey trash it was. And what Kang thought was a cessation of hostilities, was hopefully just a pause in the brutal slaughter.

Mmmm. Brutal slaughter.

NEWS!


*** Solo – Day 15 ***

What initially appeared to be a ceasefire, was in fact simply the FLZ and DEN forces suddenly disengaging from the battle, taking heavy damage as they fled, before the human guns fell silent.

And Kang understands that may well have been very heavy damage indeed. And that EMP commanders were very relieved that the ESP blinked first. Or were they? Kang is really just making this up. Kang has no insight into the puny meatbrains of the human commanders. Maybe they were just too busy thinking about playing with cute little kittens. Kang doesn’t know what goes on inside humans minds. And trust Kang, Kang has spent a lot of time looking. With his very sharpest tools.

… and quite a lot of his blunt tools too.

Were the ESP happy simply to have not suffered a catastrophic defeat, and desired to escape while they still could? Were the EMP about to bring in the rest of their ships and crush the aliens? Who knows. All Kang can say is it was good while it lasted. Bravo puny meatsacks, for slaughtering each other in great number.

So with the EMP left holding Solo, and in control of both space and ground, it seems fair to say they have won the victory in the Solo affair. Although it was a closer run thing than anybody might have expected.

Although with a substantial salvage operation underway, the EMP are stripping the battlefield of all the salvage and captains and crews of both their own ships and the ESPs, which is likely to leave them feeling quite a bit better about how things went.

But still, Kang feels confident in declaring this a narrow victory for the EMP. But much closer than anybody expected it to be.


*** WoMD ***

Reports have reached the SSS newsroom that the dastardly RIP have deployed weapons of mass destruction against a number of GCE mining outposts in the system of Coptuv, which were understood to be under the protection of the Caliphate.

The weapon system in question is understood to have been small quantities of nerve gas, and while casualties are understood to have been light, in the number of 200-300 souls, they did however die HORRIBLY and in GROTESQUE PAIN!

Congratulations dastardly RIP, long may your reign of terror continue.


*** Reign Of Terror Curtailed ***

A small squadron of RIP ships have been intercepted and destroyed in the Coptuv system. These are potentially the ships that had earlier attacked the outposts with nerve gas. Although the RIP claim to have more of their terror-ships in-system, ready to carry out more lovely lovely atrocities.



*** Caliphate In Crisis ***

Darius Shirazi, Caliph of the, uh… Caliphate, has mysteriously gone missing this week, throwing the affiliation into a certain amount of chaos.

Foul play is not suspected. Which I think we can all agree is bitterly disappointing.


*** Catnip Munching Surrender Kittens Press Release ***

to all Prideleaders, PrideSeniors and avatars

Be advised that on this date I have decided after due consideration that at this point our aims do not perfectly coincide with those of the ESP. As such, we will withdraw from the grouping in an amicable way.

As we shared common cause with many of the other affiliations before we joined the ESP, we will continue to share common cause where our interests coincide. Our longstanding alliance with the FCN is not affected by this decision, for example, nor is our desire for stability in the area of space known as the Cluster.

In Honour
Mrrshan


*** Imperial Shipping Error ***

A major error in Imperial shipping codes appears to have resulted in a vast migration of several 100+ ship convoys across the Peripheries, as individual ships have wound up in strange places.

IMP sources will no doubt blame software error, but Kang can reveal that the truth is simply that these stinking human meatsacks cannot bare each others company.

Kang means, seriously, have you never noticed how much these human meatsacks stink? They offend Kang’s trifectory olfactory nerve!




***** Flagritz Deconstruction – From the Blog of Silith Ungol ******


The scourge class warship, Immutable Paradox, settled onto the rockcrete landing platform at Fessin Shadaki. Maintenance crew moved in to secure the ship, fuel lines were brought forward, cargo haulers carrying restocks of phalanx missiles and armour plate patches; a hubub of activity repeated four score times across the expansive naval compound.

Garresh Cindith Naar debarked from the war vessel, his armoured spacesuit distinguishing him as an officer, a distinction not lost on the scuttling hordes of maintenance personnel who hurried out of his path. Naar paused and turned to view the mighty combat ship which had carried him and his crew safely through the maelstrom of battle in the space around Tyburn.
His keen eyes traced the line of damage across the starboard flank and the wrecked blister that demarked a lost gatling laser. The limit of the damage, the Paradox would be spaceworthy in no time. Much of F’Kla had been similarly dealt, minor damage, armour burns, occasional lost weapons. Only the Overlords had suffered most, having arrived in advance; theirs had been the glory, to punch a hole in the human lines and hold the gap for the strike forces of Novafires and Nullspears who’s torpedoes and antimatter missiles had wrecked many a human vessel. The Paradox and the other supra-200 hull classes had filled the gaps vacated by the human ships, trading blows with anything that took an interest. Space was expansive but in that week the space around Tyburn had seemed small by comparison, a kaleidoscope of reflected sunlight from hulls, weapons ignition, explosions and implosions. Cindith Naar had come through it all.

His voice had been foremost amongst the F’Kla command, advocating leaving the safety of the gate and moving to protect the Dewiek. Protect. Amongst the Fessin that word evoked a particular response, the truth was that Cindith Naar had gained this commission at the behest of supporters within the Imperial Council, and as a Cliriq, he cared little for protecting Dewiek, his only reason for war command was slaying humans. And he had played his role well as the fate of the IMP WDP-Starlight ST (43455) testified. A glorious battle, the humans outnumbered the coalition by a third, yet the damage and destruction wrought to the human fleet was not insignificant.

Cindith Naar turned his back on the Immutable Paradox and resumed his march from the dockyard to the Shadaki war rooms. Another discussion would soon be held and he would again have to advocate aggression from the Fessin forces, but with subtlety, for the Fessin had the auditory senses of the coalition; persuade the Fessin...




***** Message From The Editor – Voting On Rules *****


Apologies, was ill last weekend, so this is a bit behind. Will catch up with the rest of the news at the weekend. Hot Krell on Krell action has not been ignored.

In the meantime, this thread is quite important, with several issues to vote on with regards rule developments:

www.phoenixbse.com/index.php?a=posts&tid=74081&lr=on#post_tag

Simon.