***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

Kang was wondering, does cannibalism only apply to eating sentients of your own race?

KANG DEMANDS ANSWERS!



*** Population Integration ***

Measures have commenced across the peripheries to integrate large numbers of settlers into planetary populations, with all the resulting social dynamic problems this entails.

This is why the superior Flagritz race utilise slaves, all the work with none of the social dynamic problems.

Everybody loves immigrants when they’re slaves!



*** Population Integration Mk 2 ***

Kang can gleefully report that Hexamon forces have commenced an orbital bombardment in Astra, where they have begun pummelling a base of their own that was recently captured by the Human Empire.

The puny humans have expressed some surprise that the Hexamon might bombard a planet with a civilian population, but Kang simply needs to point out that most of these civilians were probably humans, meaning their termination is of no significance whatsoever.

Kang approves of integrating populations into planets through high explosives.


*** Pirate Destroyed ***

The Feeble Harcorp Pirate Organisation have lost another vessel, this time in the Misre system to the feeble FET.

Kang has it on reasonably good authority that a Harcorp pirate vessel was also destroyed today on Mobile Bay when a puny Naplian Grandmother smashed the doors in and seized the ship thinking it was a shopping cart.


*** Mydoria ***

Some sort of conflict appears to be underway on the planet Mydoria. Further details are uncertain.


*** Pitiful Meatsacks Rejoice ***

Joyous meatsacks across Mobile Day are rejoicing this week as some mysterious force has caused a great many gifts to have been left on doorsteps.

The gifts range from fluffy animals, to toys, to small donations of worthless local currency.

Many are wondering what provoked this strange turn of charity.



*** Worthless Dominion Ships For Sale ***

A number of barge class freighters are now available for purchase in Athist orbit in Coptuv. They have AI navs, quantum jump drives, 2400mu cargo capacity, and go for $25k each.


*** Mercenary Success ***

Two Dewiek Greatwolf class vessels have been successfully boarded and captured by mercenary forces this week.

Kang does not know for sure, but with a name like ‘Greatwolf’, these vessels are probably not meaningless small freighters.

But this cannot be guaranteed, Kang once met a Dewiek who had named his garden shed ‘GREAT VALHALLA BIRTHPLACE OF GODS!’ So Kang understands the DEN have a slight tendency towards over-exaggeration.



*** GCE Request ***

The febrile meatsacks at the GCE have requested anybody holding any of their prisoners to return them.

…

Preferably in pieces.

Through the post.

You heard Kang, get chopping!



*** Caliphate Press Release ***

This report is stamped and sealed for public issue by the Sharif. And has not been tampered by The Editor in any way.

215.26.2 - Imperial Meatroy reports that talks with Hexamon over operations in Coreward have broken down much like entire human race did when they left their homeworld of Dirt.

215.29.4 - Hexamon commence ground assault against puny human meatsack cowards of the Imperial Coreward base, Astra system. Ground assault is easily repulsed by Imperial forces. Imperial Services launch a counter-offensive against Superior Flagritz Coreward base, Mydoria.

215.29.5 - Following failure of ground assault action, Hexamon begin orbital bombardment of Astra base. Civilian government, previously thought friendly to HEX, said to be "shocked and appalled". Also, ‘Smoking and well integrated into topsoil’.

215.30.2 - Advance of Imperial ground forces in Mydoria causes collapse of Flagritz system claim. Overlord Kang expects puny local Flagritz commander to kill self immediately in shame.

215.30.3 - On a routine patrol mission, Empire combined expeditionary fleet (including over 300 CAL vessels) is attacked by a large Alien Alliance force. Effective coordination by Empire fleet leads to heavy losses for Alliance aggressors, particularly on weaker Flagritz and Ulian hulls. Combat analysis breakdown follows:

Hexamon 42 ships; 3 destroyed
Ulian Stellar Nation 48 ships; 17 destroyed
Flagritz Empire 137 ships; 38 destroyed
Dewiek Elder Nation 127 ships; 5 destroyed

Total: 354, of which 63 were destroyed
Empire Losses: 14 ships

215.30.4 - Alien Alliance force flees encounter with Empire combined expeditionary fleet. Preliminary estimates show 40-50 further ships wiped out during retreat.

It is confirmed that Ulian Stellar Nation (USN) has joined the Alien Alliance. Reasons for this are, as yet, unknown. Caliphate Military Command does not believe this development significantly alters the Coreward situation.

Sharif Zaff hails Patrol Commissioner Kong for his assured command during the recent fleet action. The Caliphate is committed to supporting Empire interests at home and abroad. Our Vizier will be available in future weeks for diplomatic discussions.

Kang fears this might be the end of non-human existence in large parts of the Peripheries, can no-one stop the combined might of the Human Empire?