Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News Sub Space Static: Volume 2. Issue 3.
Sub Space Static: Volume 2. Issue 3.

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

Kang has no message for you this week, you have all disappointed Kang immensely, and you shall suffer Kang’s displeasure.


*** Starbase Seized ***

Puny Human Empire sources are reporting the capture of a major Felini Starbase in the Starling system by Imperial ground forces in retaliation for their recent altercation with Empire shipping, as the humans continue their systematic programme of confiscating all alien-held assets inside the borders of human space.

Kang is unaware how much of a fight was put up by the Felini, nor indeed the extent of the conflict. It does however appear to have been short and sharp.

Kang hopes many Felini prisoners were taken.


*** New Affiliation ***

Kang is displeased to announce the arrival of the Ant Colonies to the known races of the Peripheries.

They appear to be named after the commonly found small ant-like insects that infest many known worlds, but are of significantly larger stature.

Kang, for one, welcomes the idea of giant ant overlords crushing puny human meatsacks beneath their dire claws.

Kang wonders though, opposable digits?


*** System Claimed ***

The Storm system has been claimed by Warlord Namica of the Krell clan Dark Angels, with the following warning:

“Anyone currently within the system, are required to register their outposts before end of week 30. After this time, any found will be considered illegal.”

Kang is pleased his favourite suicidal furry nutjobs have returned to claim their home system, and Kang is certain this will not bring them into any conflict at all with the GTT who continue to strip mine the strategically valuable Jacium deposits away from the system.


*** Confused Skirmish ***

A confusing battle between mercenaries has erupted in the Astra system, where it would appear a group of different merc outfits fell out over who was going to attack a FRE flagged freighter, and instead the mercs fired upon each other.

Kang approves of these sorts of negotiations.


*** Puny Meatsack Appoints Puny Meatsack ***

Caliphate Press Release:

Salem,

I am happy to announce that Jeral Zaff has been appointed Sharif of the Caliphate, First Admiral and Defender of the Realm.

The Caliphate Navy under Sharif Zaff will continue to work closely with the Imperial Stellar Patrol under the leadership of Patrol Commissioner Kong who has been entrusted with the combined fleet command under the supervision of the Empire's War Council.

In these dark days of aggression from the Alien Alliance, whose objectives remain opaque and unstated, the Empire must rally to ever closer union if the majority of humanity is to be free of the barbarism and slavery that awaits should our enemies prevail.

May the True One bless the Sharif and his family. Long live the Caliphate! Long live the Empire!

Darius


*** Shipping Advisory ***

The WIMPire travel restrictions in the Starling system have been lifted. Presumably now that the FEL have been duly kicked for daring to defy Emperor Lysander.


*** Wimble Babies Turn Out To Be Massive Disappointment ***

Wimble Baby (32424)
Name Wimble Baby
Number 32424
Type Trade Good
Mus 1 mus
Production 1
Value at Source 0.750 (Stellars/unit)
Race Human
Common No
Subtype Normal
Lifeform 1
Tech level 1
Origin System Wimbledon (79)
Origin Celestial Body Khoros Major (6952)
Tech Manual These are not actually the babies from wimbles but a smaller non-sentient subspecies called Wimble-tarsiirforme Homunculus that some of the wimbles keep as pets. To most civilians across the universe they are indistinguishable. Humans seem to be quite affectionate towards them.

… Kang has wasted a lot of time baking when Kang should have first checked the damned TM.

FILTHY DECEPTIVE WIMBLE MEATSACKS!



***** Periphery Classifieds *****

*** Trading Assistance ***

The puny meatsack known as, Erasmus Lars Anderson, CEO Coreward Arm Trading, part of the GCE group of companies, has offered his assistence to knew starcaptains in the Peripheries looking for trade routes. He should be contacted via the Nexus.

New Starcaptains should be wary of doing deals with any puny meatsack with such a long name and title. What is wrong with you puny lesser races and your long names? Kang simply needs four letters to be known. In superior Flagritz culture, the less time we need to spend announcing herself adds up to more time spent subjugating lesser lifeforms.

Flagritz Superiority – you know it makes sense.


*** Ghastly Foulness For Sale ***

Infamous meatsacky FET meatsack Paul Kantner is selling this load of old tripe:

Have acquired a load of a relatively unknown delicacy...

Quote:
New York Whelk (32407)
Name New York Whelk
Number 32407
Type Trade Good
Mus 1 mus
Production 1
Value at Source 0.150 (Stellars/unit)
Common No
Subtype Normal
Tech level 1
Origin System Onwards (25)
Origin Celestial Body New New York (695)
Tech Manual These are not particularly palatable but there are some people scattered across the universe that do enjoy them.
Infrastructure Type None
Infra Environment Type None


Have 1900mus thereof. Will sell to the high bidder! Will transport anywhere within the Capellans, Cluster, Darkfold; other sites considered.



*** Alien Construct Plates For Sale – Perfect For Alien Construct Dinner Parties ***

Greetings

The Blackmoon Company, has come into position of some Alien Construct Plates (120005) - 400 mus...

We are looking for potential buyers, interested people can contact me with offers.

There is a total of 164 of these.

Humbly yours



*** Market Opens – Amusing Alien Diseases Guaranteed ***

Lannus Crossing, Astra System.

The base has started to purchase goods for market at reasonable prices in the corewards region and will have some items for sale in the near future.

If there are other goods you think may be available for sale please contact me to arrange possible trade.

Low and medium value goods only.


*** Seafood For Sale – Transported long way – Freshness Dubious ***

As an accompaniment to Tyburn Mineral Water, have you tried Maxxin Fish (31842)?

All the way from the Transpiral.

Come to Mobile Bay, and buy yours today! Get them while they're fish-shaped!*
First time on public sale!