Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News Sub Space Static. Stardate Star Date 214.38.1
Sub Space Static. Stardate Star Date 214.38.1

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

Citizens of the Peripheries, Overlord Kang wishes you to know how much Kang admires and respects you.

… why are you looking nervous?

HERE IS NEWS!



*** War! ***

RIP forces appear to be moving to attack the COD, with the following statement coming from the leader of the RIP, Lazarus Dredge:

“Today MRC and RIP forces under my command have moved into position across the Corewards Periphery and the Arridean Spur. Their intention is the destruction or capture of COD positions.

Today elements of these forces attacked the COD outpost Traitor's Gate HQ on the planet Defector, I assume it is destroyed.

These actions are a direct (if somewhat delayed) response to the flagrant theft of my property by COD and their subsequent refusal to compensate me.

COD will compensate me with $250,000 or the attacks will continue. On Day 5 of this and subsequent weeks relations will change until a state of war exists and the theatre is expanded to cover your core assets.

I offer a further 2 proviso's:

Any affiliation that aids COD will be deemed to have declared war on RIP.

Any CIV government or population that has COD assets on their planet will be deemed to be in a defacto state of war with RIP until the compensation is paid or the assets are removed.”

Kang is always pleased to see the smaller Periphery powers brutally slaughtering each other. Kang hopes and prays that the Wimbles come out in support of the COD…


*** War! ***

Superior Flagritz forces have again escalated their conflict with the inferior Detinus Republic this week, by destroying two pitiful DTR freighters in the Kastor system.

It does however seem possible that these freighters were in the process of delivering a piece of technology to the Flagritz base however. In which case… oops?

Kang attempted again to obtain a statement from a Detinus source, but still nobody seems to be answering the telephones.

Flagritz authorities have however issued the following terse statement:

“Forces of the Empire of the Race took action to remove DTR Positions from the Imperial system of Espionage.

This faction of Humans have, by action undertaken against the Empire of the Race shown that they cannot be allowed to remain.”


*** Anonymous Press Release ***

I congratulate the Deweik on the strong marine forces on your cargo ships. You win the first round. Even your war against MRC in Halo will not stop me however. Your Nation will never find peace on Suyohiri. Leave now. Do not come back. My mission to attack you there will never end and I will return with stronger forces. But please come back to Deva and Persian. That was fun.


*** Missing Wimble Found – Peripheries Mourn ***

The Grandfather of the Wimble nation has been found, to the disappointment of many across the Peripheries who were hoping something hilariously fatal might have happened.

Alas it appears he was simply ‘on holiday’, or some other tedious excuse like that.

Witness Kang’s brutal sharp-edged disappointment.


*** Murder Most Foul ***

An SSS reporter has gone missing whilst investigating a string of gruesome murders on Mobile Bay.

Wait a moment. Kang knows he left his tiny violin laying around here somewhere.


*** Piracy ***

The pirate ship Doom And Gloom has successfully boarded and captured a USN vessel in the Coptuv system.

Unusually they appear to have kept it too.


*** More Piracy ***

The pirate ship Putrid Mind has captured a Hexamon COG freighter in some backwater called ‘Kaygan’.

Kang knew somebody called ‘Kaygan’ once.

He died.

You should all die too.


*** Dead Pirate ***

The AFT – an affiliation so tedious to Kang that Kang cannot even be bothered thinking of a humorous name to call them - have destroyed a small pirate scout ship called ‘The Eyes Of Large’ in the Discordia system.

Kang congratulates you AFT! From the very bottom of Kang’s tertiary heart complex.


*** Dewiek Declare Against FRE ***

Kang is surprised it has taken this long, but the first major affiliation have broken ranks and declared FRE flags to be as disreputable and unwelcome as INDs and MRCs:


DEN Press Release.

Howl or scream for I now speak.

Those who wish to hide behind them are now classed as military targets for the Dewiek Nation, the Nation is looking very closely at the supporters of them and clear links will be considered targets no warning will be issued.

Make no mistake I include FRE within this collective! Targeting computers are clear to be updated I have my eye on three affiliations you could soon be seeing a Dewiek warfleet fleet near you. Got a good or special reason to use them many reasons come to mind, better to tell me or wave goodbye.

Bad apples will rot the good crop, so was the warning so was the deed. Wise was that viceroy long may he rest.



***** Special Report – Special Kangian Actions *****



It has been brought to Overlord Kang’s attention that slovenly lackies amongst the EEM central exploration department been on their ‘holidays’ recently, and explorations have not been getting run as eager exploration teams might have hoped.

Therefore to fill this gaping void with his tentacles of helpfulness, your beloved Overlord Kang has decided to process your exploration requests for you.


Special action/xxxx/xxxx/Rocky Heaven/First Contact

Action: The exploration team, including a +2 Exploration Officer, will enter orbit and attempt to make first contact with the sentients on the planet below. Take care to ensure the security of the away team and try to keep the vessel in orbit hidden from planet-based sensor arrays.


Result: It is apparent from even a brief monitoring of these primitive meatsacks broadcast sources that they are barely even worthy of the term ‘sentient’. Furthermore, given Rocky Heaven is a low-g world in a worthless cesspool of a system, in this worthless cesspool of a Corewards Periphery, it is clear they have even less value than your average sack of meat.

Low-G homeworlds make for exceptionally useless slaves, all that whinging and moaning about oh, these rocks are too heavy your supreme Overlordship, and boo-hoo, my puny skeletal structure is being crushed into powder by the weight of your supreme awesomeness trampling upon us your supreme Overlordship.

The planet does however have some interesting mineral reserves. So the exploration team set about making ‘first contact’.

Given their primitive pre-space-flight status, it isn’t complicated to set off the viral bombs in the upper atmosphere, and the prevailing jet-streams should spread the payload across the planet surface within 6 months.

A free special action can be issued to assess the progress of the plague, and how quickly this pitiful rock will be cleansed of its so-called ‘higher’ lifeforms.

Your exploration officer has gained experience for having managed to turn a ‘first contact’ situation into a simultaneous ‘last contact’ situation.




Note From The Overlord: Special Actions processed by Kang will remain unofficial unless you can convince the EEM to record them in their official Periphery Ledger. Kang takes no responsibility for anything. If you wish to submit an exploration request for Special Kangian Actions, do so via the Nexus PM system to The Editor. There is no charge for the processing of Special Kangian Actions, unless you count that hollow sick feeling in your stomach. But that might be the agent-x.


***** Special Report – Kangs Column Of Agonies *****

Salem,

I am looking to purchase at least 10K Synthetic Greenhouse Gas (884) if anyone is selling.

Peace be upon you,

Darius



CITIZEN MEATSACK DARIUS!

Kang can assist you in your puny market request. It is well known that setting fire to any large urban area will result in a mass expulsion of a wide range of greenhouse gasses.

Kang therefore recommends you simply set fire to all of your cities and bases, and your needs will be met.

Kang! Planetary Engineering YOUR Problems Away!



***** Periphery Classifieds *****


*** Ship For Sale ***

As of today the first ship of the Shodan class is available for purchase at Athist in the Coptuv system.

This is a 300 hulled vessel with mk4 heavy crystal hulls and mk4 ablative plates. It is full of high mark components, including mk4 photonics, mk4 scints, mk4 shields, mk4 engines, and more. It packs a mk4 heavy photon battery because it's the biggest gun I could find and only the biggest is good enough for this baby.

The crew complement consists of battle hardened veterans of many a conflict, now out to seek their fortunes in the wider universe:

Deadshot (#1) { Naval, +8 CF, +2 Accuracy }
Sparks (#2) { Naval, +8 CF, +1 Damage Control }
Twitch (#3) { Naval, +8 CF, +2 Dodge }
Face (#4) { Naval, +8 CF, +20% Leadership }
196 Human Veteran Marine (512)

Keys are installed for Kasmer, Noctollis, Solo and Valhalla gates with room for one more.

The asking price for this spaceborn fortress starts at $3M. I will reduce it by $200k each week until it's at $2M. From there I will reduce it by $100k per week until it's at $1.5M. If it remains at $1.5M for very long I will probably find some use for it myself.

The ship is the DOM Go Big or Go Home! (89146). Buy it now, before your enemy does!

(Rebates are available if you deliver some or all of the rare minerals that went into the vessel, after having purchased it. The hulls alone have 9,000mu of collidium in them and at a $40/mu rebate it all adds up.)

For those looking to build a whole fleet instead of just acquiring a flagship for an existing one, a number of other warships are also currently available at the same location:

1x premium Quartz beamer with 130 mk4 heavy crystal hulls and mk4 light armour plate around a mk4 photonics package. ($700k)

2x budget Quartz torp ships with 130 mk2 heavy crystal hulls and mk2 light armour plate, loaded up with mk3 plasma torps for all your wanton destruction needs. ($250k)

These Quartz class vessels will fit into Halo, even if only just barely. The 300 huller above, will not.

8x Roidrunner class beamers with 50 mk2 heavy crystal hulls and mk2 ablative armour plate, armed with 5 nova cannon for all the penetrating goodness. ($60k)

6x Javelin class missile boats with 50 mk2 heavy metal hulls and mk2 ablative armour plate, armed with mk2 missile launchers packing cloaked kinetic missiles. ($60k)

7x Armadillo class light escort missile boats with 50 mk2 normal crystal hulls and mk2 ablative armour plate, armed with mk2 missile launchers. ($40k)

All of these ships come with a naval officer already onboard.

You know you want all this firepower. And you know I want all your Stellars. So what are you waiting for!?