Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News Sub Space Static - News You Need! Abuse You Can't Get Anywhere Else!
Sub Space Static - News You Need! Abuse You Can't Get Anywhere Else!



Sub Space Static - News You Need! Abuse You Can't Get Anywhere Else!

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Overlord ***

Greetings puny meatsacks and flesh-things of the Peripheries, your beloved Overlord Kang is here with a fresh news injection from the Peripheries favourite* news outlet.

Today the hot topic is ‘Napalm Or Nukes?’

Please contact the SSS HQ via your normal methods to express your opinion.

Kang knows he has a hard time picking a favourite. It’s not like picking a favourite offspring, you can’t just drop them into one of your pain-pits and have them fight it out.

... or can you...


HERE IS NEWS!


*Definition of ‘favourite’ may depend on proximity to Overlord Kang’s Comfy Chair Of Persuasion.


*** Kastorian Vs Kastorian ***

Tensions continue to rise between these two worthless groups of meatsacks, the KAS and KST.

Kang is often asked what the difference is between these two flavours of Kastorians.

This is a foolish question, as neither group is worth eating.

However, it seems as if the KST faction has descended into anarchy, and are now too busy trying desperately to hold onto their pathetic meaningless lives to cause any strife with their hated neighbours in Yank.

Kang suspects the collapse of the KST economy has nothing to do with the extreme lack of interest now being shown in holding the system.


*** Caliphate Announce Hostilities ***

The newly formed Caliphate, risen from the ashes of the Confederacy, appear to have continued where the CNF left off by adding the DTR to some of their enemy lists.

Kang understands tensions remain high between the ex-DTR Senator Darius Shiraz who now leads the Caliphate, and his old colleagues in the Detinus Senate.

Kang thinks this should come as a surprise to nobody really.


*** Puny Ceasefire Broken Again ***

Not content with violating the DTR/EMP ceasefire last week, news has broken of another DTR ship destroyed:

DTR SHIP AK 666 WILDHORSE III (31581)

Scanned:
GTT SHIP DOG EARS (53582) - {50 Heavy Hulls} - Attacking us.
Defiant Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}

Turn Stopped:
For battle.

---------------------------------BATTLE REPORT----------------------------------

Position was destroyed or docked and could not report on the battle.


Kang can report on it though!



*** Disease Watch ***

Authorities have appealed for calm after baseless rumours have surfaced in news outlets regarding the spread of a particularly virulent disease around the Corewards Arm systems.

Kang understands this disease brutally kills 105% of the people infected with it, whilst turning them into LITERAL FLESH EATING ZOMBIES!

Kang has your best interests at heart when he tells you to shoot your neighbours now, before they become infected and eat your children.

Go on. You never liked your neighbours much anyway.


*** Flagritz News ***

Superior Flagritz scientists at the Flagritz Institute For Pain have announced they have finally discovered an answer to the scourge of slavery that affects the Peripheries.

In an exciting press conference Flagritz scientists outlined their theoretical plan for mass genocide. ‘If all lesser meatsacks are dead’, explained the spokes-Flagritz, ‘Then there will be no more slaves!’

This has opened some considerable debate however, as questions like ‘But who will work in our mines and factories’ have been asked by responsible authority figures.


*** Tranquility ***

The Tranquility system is no longer a protectorate of the Dominion, as the worthless Mohache meatsacks are once again in control of their own destiny.

Such as it is.

Born. Farm. Farm. Farm. Eat. Farm. Farm. Die.

You see why lesser meatsacks welcome being conquered by superior races? At least we bring a bit of excitement into their lives.


*** Solo ***

Things remain calm in Solo with the Yank Kastorians still holding the claim, despite an impressive 175k counter-claim from the Superior Flagritz.

Kang will remember your lack of support, puny meatsacks.


*** Press Release - Dewiek Announce New Leadership ***

Greetings Sentient's of the free worlds

Hear me for I now speak, my Dewiek tongue maybe old for some even within the Great Nation yet your translators should understand my words.

In keeping with Dewiek ways power has been seized from the High Lord Folkvar his assets and those of his pack taken, control of the capital and her star system is now in the hands of the new High Lord of the Nation, in breaking with the old ways the life of the old one has been spared. He will be known from this date onward as Folkvar the Fallen his status within the Nation will be granted as Wolf Baron, the Fallen will sit within the High Council of twelve. Lands and status will allow the pack of the Fallen to continue his work for the Nation, work which is hoped will regain his once proud status within the Nation.

Dewiek packs from all corners of the known and unknown star systems are to hear the calling of Lord of wolves, your pack mate need you now come take your packs place in the chamber of the elders and gain power and status within the Great Nation. You are the greatness the Nation once had come to me now brothers and sisters of the Nation.

To the humans that live with us, you know and accept our ways. To the humans that live around us, you know our ways I ask that you respect them if you can not accept them. I offer all free sentient's my ear, I offer this in friendship do not chew or bite it for I bite back. Trade will be the Nations great undertaking, those whom mistrust the Nation you have good reason we Dewiek are moody creatures not unlike you humans at times, we both know this so let us accept it.

Many deeds require my attention with the Nation, these deed require time which it is hoped you can afford us, rest assured if you had an arrangement in place with the Great Nation it is honoured. Relations with the Confederate Forces are to be moved to neutral, open honest talks with the human named Darius of Shirazi are high on the list of travel arrangements if he will meet with me. A full war setting will remain in place against the Destroyers and its Meklan slaves.

Distant are the talks of opening the gates to the Pocket yet I have pondered this for sometime, let us first see where these coming moons take us.

Filtiarn - Lord of Wolves
High Lord of the Febrile Dewiek Meatsacks.


*** Pirate Spotted ***

Location: Orbit of Shogun

PIR SHIP BOELGEHBI (31710) - {75 Heavy Hulls} - Attacking us.
Harcop Raider Class Fast Freighter {Light Ablative Armour}


Kang has asked around and this is apparently in the Yenni system.

Where is the Yenni system, you might well ask.

Kang’s interest level has evaporated. Find it yourself.


***** Periphery Classifieds ******


*** Worthless Technology For Sale To Stupid Meatsacks ***

Greetings,

I've updated the Quick Snack market with a few Techniques and one Principle.

I've priced these below other similar items on other markets.

Please feel free to browse.

Mona

ps more to come in the coming weeks.


*** For Sale ***

Large quantities of ABC suits, perfect for protecting you from plague.

NO REASON TO PANIC THOUGH!