Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News Subspace Static - Star Date 214.25.2
Subspace Static - Star Date 214.25.2




***** Inter Galactic News *****


***** Message From The Overlord *****

We of the superior Flagritz race have a saying, it is better to risk all than fall to weakness. Weakness is the preserve of you lesser meatsacks, and not a fate any true Flagritz would ever embrace.

So with this in mind your beloved Overlord Kang, conqueror of worlds, scourge of meatsackery across the Peripheries, wielder of the one true dreaded spiked tentacle, has been absent for a few weeks whilst undergoing emergency brain surgery upon his primary cognitive organ.

As some of you pitiful febrile wastes of oxygen and nutrients may have noticed, since being abducted at the Golden Kang’s ceremony, Kang has not been feeling himself. Prone to outbursts of LOVE and AFFECTION for the Empire of Humanity and that festering stinkhole Lysander. Kang began to suspect some sort of villainous brain-control device might have been responsible, particularly when Kang started picking up transmissions from satellites passing overhead and was finding himself waking in the mornings filled with tender loving thoughts towards all humanity (except for the Detinus Republic), instead of Kang’s usual level of hatred towards all.

Foolish Empire of Humanity, did you not know superior Flagritz brains are immune to puny earth-thing mind control devices? The superior Flagrtiz lifeform has built-in triple redundancy. When Kang’s primary brain started being wonky, the secondary and tertiary brains kicked in.

Trusting no other meatsack to remove the chip, and welcoming the opportunity to hack into the brain of a worthwhile form of life for a change, Kang is pleased to announce to you that he has successfully removed said chip. And be assured quivering Empire Of Meatsackery, and your vile underlings of the CIA, you are now top of Kang’s list. Oh yes. Kang has purchased some special implements for you.

Brace yourselves, news incoming!


*** War! ***

The pitiful Empire Of Humanity has struck once again at the Detinus Republic. Following their defeat in the Mantis system a couple of months ago, it would seem the IMP and GTT felt particularly humiliated, to have been so soundly thrashed by what were mostly non-human lifeforms. So as of yesterday they appear to have returned en masse, utilizing the proverbial sledgehammer to crack a nut.

Or in other words the fabled Empire Uber-GP is back in action, and has taken another sizeable DTR base in just a couple of days, as the Brutal Kitten Slaughtering DTR were unable to hold against such a vast attacking force.

With the base having fallen, it seems likely the system will fall to the Empire too, as yet another DTR system is captured by them in their seemingly relentless advance.

As for the base itself, it is understood to be a collection of smoking ruins.

Kang finds it interesting that again the majority of the half a million attacking troops were aliens, Aquaphibs and Naplians, as the Empire of Humanity continues to seem happy to deploy aliens in large numbers to wipe out other aliens.

As much as Kang now bares a significant grudge against these human meatsacks, Kang must admire the efficiency of the bloodshed. Remember though humans, don’t go getting too big for your own boots, there’s only one superior lifeform in this universe.

Kang does however offer a reward for Unlucky Meatsacks Of The Month to the DTR, as the base fell with only a 0.58% chance of falling. Which is almost as bad for them as when they lost Hidden Abyss to the EMP with an 8% chance of falling. Or one of the big Faery bases with something like a 3% chance of falling.

If the gods do play dice, then we can conclude the gods hate the DTR.

Thus proving that the gods are of the Flagritz race.

Theology-Kang is in the house, rampaging through YOUR belief systems.



*** War ***

There are early reports of sightings of the DTR battle-fleet moving through Capellan periphery systems, with reports of a small platform being destroyed.

Kang hopes this is a harbinger of MAYHEM.

But knowing the Republicans they’re probably just out shopping for biscuits.


*** System Claimed ***

The GTT continue with their bold plan to claim every system in known space, by putting in a claim for the Ulyona system.

Kang had a very satisfying bowel movement once in Ulyona.

If only Kang had thought to plant a flag in it, then Kang might be claiming a system too.



*** More War ***

The Detinus Republic offensive against a number of insignificant mining outposts on the tedious Planet 21 in Arachnid appears to have come to an end with the last of the Empire facilities falling to ground forces.

No doubt these pathetic tree-loving hippies will now set about repairing the environmental damage caused by the Empire strip-mining operations.


*** A Press Release Unrelated To War And Therefore Considered To Be Boring ***

Greetings Folks of the Peripheries

Recently, the MIC has, in full agreement with Mohache leadership, taken steps to claim the Tranquility System while the Mohache leaders are occupied on an extended leave of absence. We are pleased to be care-taking the system for our Mohache brothers and sisters, and will continue to uphold the Moh traditions of trade and peace within the system.

For me personally, it has brought a welcome return to my home system, and the chance to re-unite with old friends and brothers long not seen.

The MIC look forward to the return of the Mohache leaders, particularly those friends of old, but until such time all affairs within Tranquility can be directed through my offices.

The system will be re-opening its trading outposts in the near future, but if anyone has any specific trades that they wish to discuss please contact me.

Humbly,

Sleeps with WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION.

Filthy pervert. Kang is disgusted.



*** Stargate Linkage Makes War Easier ***

Filthy fleabag Dewiek scum have recently announced the following:


Due to the Nation policy of linking stargates in its systems we can now confirm the Solo-Noctollis Stargate is now linked.
You will be able to proceed to either system without the need to transit Valhalla.

You are reminded the Nation allows most affiliations to transit the DHP via its stargates or wormholes.

Any one seeking clarification is welcome to contact me.


Kang asks, what time is it?

INVASION TIME!



*** Humans Over-Compensating For Something ***

Kang has learnt that the GTT have started building a new class of Gigant freighter, entitled the Mega Gigant.

Allegedly this vessel is a whopping 300 hulls in size, and can carry 20,000 Mus of cargo.

Kang wishes you the best of luck at running into a Nebula.


*** Dewiek Desperately Seeking Dewiek ***

Greeting all

The Nation wishes those who are seeking out new systems or revisiting old ones to contact the Nation if they find any of our lost brothers.

I have made it a personal aim to reunite any lost Dewiek into the Nations fold.

Hundreds of years ago the Nation travelled all over the know and unknown star systems settling in some.
Then game the great war and plague which shook the Nation to its core.
Losing virtually all its knowledge and contact with these far flung outpost of dewiek civilisation was lost.

Some populations have reverted back to a "Native" state and have to be shown how to be "Dewiek" again.
There are a number of on going projects doing this very thing.

The Nation will of course reward those supplying information in whatever manner is required.

Folkvar.





***** Periphery Classifieds *****


*** Market Sales ***

Greetings

At the above location in the orbit of the Solo stargate the following is or will be on sale tomorrow.
The market will be restocked as goods are brought in and new ones added.

30,000 Turl Wood (32453) at 6 stellars each
Value at Source 0.400
Race Human

2081 Human Civilian (500) at 1 stellar each

5481 Reso Camel (32386) at 2.4 stellars.
Value at Source 0.200
Lifeform.



*** Ships For Sale ***

A number of ships for sale in orbit of Athist in the Coptuv system, all designed to make it easier to avoid, approach or annihilate your friendly neighbourhood Harcop Raider.

5x Armadillo class missile boats
50NCH2/AAP2, these missile armed vessels are perfect for destroying a bog standard Harcop raider. While the armadillo won't stand up to serious military opposition on its own, Harcop raiders aren't known for carrying much in the way of space weaponry. Or indeed any space weaponry at all. It's a turkey shoot out there and the armadillo loves turkey! With 47 mk2 missile launchers and over 6 salvos of cloaked missiles this is an inexpensive but surprisingly effective escort in the face of increasing Raider attacks. One armadillo will run you $40k, including the naval officer.

6x Patrino class stealth tenders
Incorporating a pleasant surprise from Mona's closet of secrets, this upgraded mk2 variant of our very popular stealth tenders has a sensor profile of -84% with its mk3 korondite amplifier. This makes the ship essentially invisible to Harcop raiders who are believed to have a sensor power of only 67%. Further it has 20tu of cloaking capacity and 5,000mu of maintenance capable dock space for deploying, retrieving and servicing your scouts or explorers. Each of these see-through beauties can be yours for $75k.

20x Eyeball class small scouts
With its four heavy organic hulls, the Eyeball is durable, stealthy, and easy to fit onto pretty much any kind of tender. It has a sensor profile of -77% making it invisible to Harcop Raiders (as far as is currently known), and an embarking size of 521mu making it easy to fit onboard carracks, barges, or what have you. You can stick up to 9 into a Patrino class tender. They have a sensor rating of 46% vs the Raiders' profile of (an estimated) -26% so whether you're looking for minerals to mine or Raiders to blow up, an Eyeball (or ten) can really brighten up your day. Each costs $4k.