Phoenix
Phoenix: BSE
Phoenix at a Glance
The Game
Sign Up
Nexus Tour
FAQ
Flagship#130 Review
Resources
History
Calendar
Wallpapers
IRC and player sites
SubSpace Static Archive
214
Previous Years
Intergalactic News
Issue 28
Issue 27
Issue 26
Issue 25
Issue 24
Issue 23
Issue 22
Older Issues
 
Problem Page
locked Page is undergoing maintenance locked  []

 
News
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Nun on the Run ***

Alleged cosplayer Carmilla D’Morenta got the vicars in the Brotherhood all hot and bothered when she made a run for it. Possibly tired of being tied up by the reverends and denied the love that dare not howl its name. With a sizeable, almost unbelievable, bounty on her head, the barking sister took refuge with the Dewiek Elder Nation.

In possibly the shortest chase in history, the BHD managed to strike a blow for oppressed collars everywhere when they squared off with the naughty doggy-wannabe at the Valhalla stargate. The cheeky chaplains blew their hyperdrive at close range and both the BHD and DEN flagged ships were reported to be lost in space.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * DEN Ban BHD * Ulian * FLZ in Avalon * Valhalla Fighting Pits * Interview with Carmilla * And more


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The New Editors ***

Dear Reader,

It has been a long time since we had the exquisite joy of Sub Space Static beaming mind-altering information into our retinas. Like you, we craved word from the offices of the IGN when the next edition would hit our Nexus terminals. We waited and waited. Then we got curious.

We fundraised a simple surveyor and sent it to the last sighting of the IGN. It was not where we expected it to be, in the Yank system. We asked the Junta but they were their usual helpful selves. Weeks, turned into months and still no sign.

Then we found it. The singularity. With a sign. The scrawl of a demented child that read "Kang woz 'ere." What could we do but enter. Our ship went in. Where, we cannot say. The air around us popped. Our faces folded and our bodies fused together. Our minds interconnected. Vast knowledge at our disposal. Yet, we became as stupid as the least of us. As greedy as the worst of us. As forgetful as the dumbest of us. As horribly biased as a partisan hack in a post-truth universe.

We became, in short, your Editors.

Welcome to the new SSS. It won't be as funny as before. It won't be clever by half. It won't be any better in any way. But it will be regular. As a mohache on refined laxatives. It will be informative. Oh it will be full of facts! Even if we have to make them up.

Send us your delicious exploration reports. Tell us about your pointless battles. Spread your vile anonymous rumours. Tell us how your mother didn't love you and that's why <insert Affiliation here> must be destroyed! Feed us, your Editors. Nurture us. Our Singularity opens to receive your offering.

Now here is the news.

 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, after an extended tour of the Inner Empire and all the delights within,

And so with the news, and there has been a lot of it!


Old News - FLZ/ GTT Break Ceasefire Agreement
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe,

And so with the news,

Alien Wars - Ulian Peace Agreements
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, after a period of "secured safety training" for the CSNN team who was taken in by Caliphate security forces,

And so with the news,

Alien Wars - Empire Takes Ulian System, Empire Fleet Deployed
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, continuing with a shortened "No News makes Good news?" special!

And so with the news,
 
***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

It seems like only yesterday that Kang was dropping napalm on a group of refugees fleeing from the latest ‘accidental’ orbital bombardment of a Starbase in Yank. You’d be surprised how easy it is to get away with that sort of thing when there are warships in orbit shooting things up. Nobody ever notices the Flagritz in the hover car with the napalm.

Which leads Kang to reflect that it has been such a long time since the last orbital bombardment of a Starbase.

But not so long since Kang last poured napalm onto refugees.

Which just goes to show you can never have too much of a good thing.

A good thing like more old news!

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

Puny meatsacks, you make Kang sad.

Here is more old news.

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

Your beloved editor-in-chief Overlord Kang asks you, puny meatsacks, what could possibly be better than old news?

YES! YET MORE OLD NEWS!

Kang spoils you, he really does.

Kang is very good at spoiling meatsacks like you.

Spoiling you permanently.

OLD NEWS TIME!

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The Editor ***

Greetings, puny flesh-things of the Peripheries. Your beloved Overlord Kang trusts that your sacks of flesh are ripe and ready to burst and freeze in the merciless cold of interstellar vacuum.

Returning from an unexpected illness, Kang is forced to pause and reflect upon your mortality, and question why so many of you worthless meatsacks have still not leapt into a torpedo tube and had yourselves launched into an asteroid at point blank range. Or as Kang likes to call it ‘Dropping the kids off at the mine’.

Prepare your disgusting fleshy auditory sensors for what can only be described as out of date news! As Kang runs a series of catch-up editions of the galaxies favourite journal of bile and hatred.

Any complaints, and Kang politely invites you to step inside his patented ‘Complaints Tube’. Kang assures you. It is perfectly safe in there. Please ignore the stains.

OLD NEWS TIME!

 

Copyright | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use